Thursday, January 13, 2022

2021 Inquiries for Dr. Uschi & Associate Enterprises



 Uncle Douglas died on a bus

heading to sunny Surrey

crossed over the Pattullo bridge

Turf hotel in view

King George bumper to bumper

that's how he ended 






I didn't know what day it was 

until I heard from you 

I was outside looking in 

at the wrecking crew

socks hung on the ceiling fan

no word of a bailout plan 





fallout with relations

crossfire of misinformation 

took the high road into the gutter

you sit at home and mutter 

sounding a false alarm

intent on doing harm

your mom calls from the kitchen

trigger finger is itching 

another world inside your room

marching to a different tune 





she had Tang in her thermos

a killer in her furnace

her house attracted rats 

her neighbor ate the cat 





his back was arched in agony

on spiral stairs below

baseless force on the hill

faceless horse 

medium is the message

Mr. McLuhan said 

tribal fans are here 

no reflection in the mirror  





aristocrats need peasant’s help 

billions and trillions to deal 

they need minions 

to get through the day

in person 

we bicker and argue 

the mood is tense

at a distance 

we get along like old friends

in a long-term care home 

to meet women

dying all around us 

with the virus thing

moron on the loose 

with true believers

dangling from a thread of lies 





depopulation rogue hot world

purge bad memories

relax if you can

think pleasant thoughts 

doom and gloom   

toxic room

crying yourself to sleep 

no gratitude

ice cream with bad attitude 





in a land where you can count on everyone 

to mind everyone's business 

no painkilling redeemer in this house of wax

we'll get along if you pay your tax

what's holy and unholy in the alternate universe 

I don't know how you came into my life

like an invasive species from hell 





they said be careful who you love

the fallout may be bad  





you can build a house by the water 

with a million-dollar view

custom made

unique floor plan

wired for every convenience 

interior decorator

taste for space

the family settles in

reaps the fruit of the labor

can't escape from the simple rule 

you're only as good as your worst neighbor 





from the Hollywood Hills to the Rio favelas

from the British properties of Vancouver

from Whistler east to old Banff town

you're only as good as your worst neighbor 





lived in some nice neighborhoods

lived in apartment buildings 

slummed it in an old basement suite 

on the south-west side of Calgary

rented in an old rooming house 

off Yonge Street in Toronto

everywhere I've lived

there's one thing in common 

you're only as good as your worst neighbor 





no sympathy for the mule

out in the fields all day 

under blistering sun

toil and turning 

back and forth

up and down the hills 

when the long day ends 

haul a big load home 

rocks and sand 

over rugged land 

a cruel routine 

long and cruel 

no sympathy for the mule 





pretty young lady on minimum wage

sucked into the criminal world

tempted with a life of luxury 

wined & dined like a movie star 

new set of high-class friends

load you up with precious cargo

high risk for a fool

no sympathy for the mule 





in the days of my prime 

with Michelle in room 109

in the Dawson Creek hotel 

hiding from the oil cartel

no one spoke the truth

we misled each other

it's farewell to Elaine

with paper bags in the rain

spent quality time 

betting who would cross the finish line

threw up in a small town

co-founded the software store

today the real estate market is double-plus-good

they won a glorious battle in your neighborhood 

move in for the kill 

food chain folly 

conveyor belt trolley

we move over the hill

dew drops on the lawn

suddenly gone

we meant no ill will

we went out on a limb

tattoo of a sturgeon 

a bookcase virgin 

sit around yawning 

to the new day dawning

hardly seems surprising  

airstrikes on the horizon 





rabbits for fun and profit 

pets and fryers 

coffee kettle in a bad mood 

report to the computer 





loud bang in the night

not too far away 

sirens wailing 

then silence 

then rain 





one thing for sure 

every now and then 

you got to get a bagel in you

our love was on the blocks 

before we even started

my bedside manners 

gave her no kicks 

she was less than impressed 

with my pancake mix 

decline of another generation 

don't write about anything personal 

don't write anything at all 

things you lost in youth 

won't be recovered in the comfort of age 

dumb and naïve back then 

dumb and self righteous now 

holy cow 

there's been a mailbox mix up 

nice vice 

my children aren't angels 

bewitched, baffled and bald  





there goes the parade in all it's glory 

as they proudly march off to war 

following orders in a peculiar way 

could not get past 

the valley of the walls 





peer pressure can be a killer 

don't believe me 

it's true 

got a message from myself 

from fifty years ago 

I wasn't coping well 

we had gigs lined up 

we couldn't get along 

adolescence and drugs

then parents got involved 

next thing you know 

we're chasing careers 

some got married

some got free 

some drank and worked and got stressed 

some found the golden years 

early to bed early to rise 

declining in the rocking chair 

it's still rock n' roll 

just different 

raised the wrong way

but ended up okay 

birding and fishing 

'till the cows came home 

the true value of a comment 

nothing more than a vent 

no one left to apologize  

nothing left of the old salvage crew  





hide in your head 

while the world spins out of control  





sunny days 

mean chainsaws, hammers and drills 

so many places you have been around 

the years have slowed you down 

in Happy Town the rhythm's found 

try to do what you think is best 

include the rest 

an earnest quest 

when I was young 

the girls I dated

wanted to leave home 

lover of the overcast 

the wayward whisper beckons 

lover of the darkness

under the crave of dreams 

lover of the rain 

winter fingers blue ice vein 

grease on earth 

free will oil spill 





when I was handsome 

way back in 53 

there was a scandal 

that did not involve me 

the mailbox exploded 

letters flew across the sky 

it was us or them 

sometimes do or die 




 

every rest stop conversation gets political

nobody cares about the video store any more 

people let their video card memberships lapse 

expired with no renewal date 





we were on a quest in the mystic west 

rumors of consumers 

endless opportunity 

we turned the page 

on minimum wage 

to pay the rent 

you must relent 

steel toe shoes 

monthly union dues 

things got mean 

in the nightclub scene 

could not measure all that pent up rage 

never sure what you're looking for 

fall in line with the changing times 





the drug store is beside the liquor store 

and the liquor store is beside the drug store 

that's the way the landscape lays 

in all the cities, towns and villages 





my bill, my username, my password 

Saratoga Simba, Sonora savior 





Aunt Violet talked about traveling abroad

olives and hot dogs everywhere

hugging the curb along Jingle Pot Road

come Christmas time we're going to discount your cable 

if we're able

a long ladder needed

access through a pack of pit bulls in the neighbor's yard

"What ails you," Dr. Uschi asked 

"We can't choose the time of our ailments," the patient replied

when we were kids 

Aunt Violet was the butt of our jokes

along with her dog 

Scamp

not so bright

incandescent light

what's the gauge 

when they say "Act your age" 

seemed like the best approach

a shot gun wedding for the hockey coach

Laura said, "once you're dead, 

demons won't linger in your head" 

we cooked meat on the manifold

spam & jam in the centerfold

we would meet on the telephone

she preferred to be left alone

she dined in the food court

fall between the seams in the cradle of the sun

our diamond brains

high-rise cranes

meant very little in the end 

regret the fall 

the bouncing ball will guide you through the verse 

cloud burst

follow the hearse

whiskey breath behind the wheel

break it up

everything has been said

fragmented ideas 

information has been raked over 

filling our time with renovations and rodents 

you drag the cross through the June heat dome

wonder inside what became of outside 

you lose money faster than you gain money 

you gain weight faster than you lose weight 

no matter how trivial 

every service call was categorized as critical

every holiday Aunt Violet went on 

was described as epical

they were all biblical holidays 





I could have offered you more

you could not wait

on a quest to escape emptiness

when your world starts to slide 

from the high side of town

update that novella for closure

forty to fifty years

singing a different song 

in the dementia cottage

walking round in circles

no place to go

good morning, good afternoon, good evening to all 

they called her the enchantress of the picket fence compound

on a quest to dominate the lands of the golden gate trailer park

learning the ropes

falling on your head 




  

your pony wall defense is out of place 

lines of misinformation scar your face 

thanks for the encouragement, Mr. Potts 

thanks for lighting the way to Pancake River 

officer Moody and me at the Crossroads Inn 

looney times on the rocks 

crazy people in the British properties 

waving their wands

his and her washrooms in the face-lift market 

lunch on the wharf with the ravens 

walk a lunar landscape around the mall at sunrise 

who can create the most garbage contest 

baby boomers in the classroom please go away  

that sinking feeling 

on a course of no return 

rats have long abandoned ship 

quicksand manure from the left and the right 

tour through the sewer under the palace at night 

warnings at the border

play by the rules 

BC salmon

Alberta beef

Quebec maple syrup and Newfie Screech 

justice moves slow for those of little means 





ruined my liver drinking on the banks of the Red River

ceremony on the roof of the Cascade hotel 

Peachland wine wouldn't go down well 

abandoned house raid on the highway 

squatters okay 

hot wired hydro and TV 

jam sessions triggered neighbor complaints  

she was laying in bed 

a cigarette holder in hand 

beacon lights flashed through the curtains of gold 

sudden rush of ecstasy as the drugs took hold 

in the waiting room

you don't get first class seats 

they say you die alone 

no matter who's around 

a final lead solo act 

the spotlight shines 

embrace the setting sun 

on the wildfire smoke horizon 

recite a poem to bring it home 

hunker down 





weekend warriors lined up past the pier 

long shot horse track bets bend the ear 

mole people make the scene near closing time 

hide away with a box of red French wine  





she rolled her mattress across the morning pavement 

fell between the cracks of consumer enslavement 

fact or fiction grows a fine line

hide away with a box of red French wine  





lost world yesterday fades like a dream 

remote places become tourist scenes 

locals watch holiday high-rate crime

hide away with a box of red French wine 





monkey man 

long John slim 

so deep in debt

walls were closing in 

dignify a reply to social media slim 

hide away with a box of red French wine  





a polio shot when I was very young 

lined us up in class 

jabbed us one by one 

now they hold signs

with freedom in mind

hide away with a box of red French wine  





surely you jest 

filling in time until the end of the line 

happier alone far away from home 

father would roll

along the Don River to Lakeshore Boulevard  






someday we all go away 

there goes dill pickle people 

good day dill pickle people 


caught the last train from Danforth and Main 

ninety years with a number 

go tick tock tick tock

blouse allows wheelchair repair 

as the old man drives 





they flickered in and out 

go windbag hag rag 

stop short along Highland creek 

as the old man drives 


slide show candle fin bin rim tin 

honey blonde says go away 

I say good day 

crime time cinders on the roof 

as the old man drives  


eyeball short wave oh Dave behave 

furniture nomad got had too bad 

high rise sinking in the sea 

as the old man drives 


got no passion ping pong sing song 

now we ration uptight tonight 

red flag blue moon rise 

as the old man drives 


end of the journey

end of the railway line 

we'll all have some tea 

and talk about old times 

the wind blows easy 

the rain falls like mist

satisfied comfort 

check off to-do list 


love is a juicy steak 

we'll decorate under the hood 

cook supper on the manifold 


midnight bounty Arabian nights 

Xmas on the Fairbanks jewels 

illusion confusion 

out of our hands 

bliss of the land 

developers plan 

supply and demand 

profit margin 

golden goose 

caught behind 

no excuse 

set the divine manifesto loose 

hug the nurse 

sip some brandy 

with fingers crossed 

it's all Jimdandy 


they think it's us 

we think it's them 

we don't like over there 

they don't like here 

us against them 

them against us 

they're wrong

we're right 

sleep tight 

wedge in tonight 







there is a German flavor you know 

and Herman wants to go 

to the Albion hotel 

I do wish him well 

if you find him on the street 

with a blanket under his feet 

the monkey on his back 

is a reliable contact 

in case of emergency 

and you're running out of time 

nothing like time  

haunts us more

time will slander thee 

time will close the door 

wake up to a new morning 

stiff and sore 

Oliver Twist took the risk 

windjammer days 

smoke room haze 

Sunday downtown blues 

cold avenue empty 

virtually chatting 

Gord is on your side 

flag flies low 

rest your soul 

full moon tide 

case is closed 

time to ante up 

she'll stick with the plan 

stand by her man 

no matter how corrupt 

look so fair  

ribbon in hair 

blue angel eyes 


not sure what to believe 

what's hidden up that sleeve 

ask Uschi, the fortune teller 


if you're not sure about climate change 

you hear strange theories 

certifiably deranged 

ask Uschi, the gypsy caravan queen 


if you wear a mask like a forbidden task

if your hidden face gets displaced 

don't facebook your dilemma 

ask Uschi, the broadband lady

 

in coming months we'll ride the bumps 

another viral wave 

in Gord we trust 

Atlantic thrust 

dream haven on the shoreline 

got no time to wait in line 

when help is on the way 

frustrated nation 

won't leave the station 

they holler Bally who 

stop being funny 

it's about money 

ethics out the window 

lots of strokes 

promises for votes 

time catches up 

make or break 

Patty cake 

earthquake knocks you off the couch 

renew account

count me out 

the frenzy you created 

if you're not sure why 

the gap is wide 

ask Uschi, the year end gypsy